If you have ever been around a preschooler for a length of time, you know that they take play very seriously. Why is the drive to play so strong? Is play simply a recreational activity or something more? Jack Schonkoff, the Director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, states that play “is not taking a break from learning. Play is one of the most important ways in which children learn” (DeRuy, 2016). Research supports the idea that play is something hardwired in children across all cultures and time periods (cite). We know that play helps the brain develop and contributes to lifelong health and resilience (Center on the Developing Child, n.d.).

Cognitive shifts and expansive imaginations allow children to engage in more advanced levels of play during the preschool years. They may continue to engage in solitary or constructive play but thinking up complex scenarios or playing games with others commonly occupy children’s time. Preschoolers become more interested in connecting with other children than before (Urban Child Institute, n.d.). They may develop their first true friendships during this stage and these friendships become very important to them (APA, 2017). Play is the perfect tool for creating and maintaining friendships!

Children are becoming more aware of the social world around them. This increasing knowledge about the world helps children build social competence and understanding. Social competence refers to the ability of children to get along with others. This process is rather complex and involves many skills and abilities. For example, preschool children must be able to understand social expectations, rules and norms and follow them in an age appropriate way. They should also understand the perspectives and needs of others (empathy) and be able to use social skills effectively such as maintaining eye contact or a conversation. Lastly, children must be able to regulate their own emotions in social interactions which involves balancing their own wants and needs in relation to others. Social understanding begins early in infancy when infants can “read” their caregiver’s facial cues (social referencing). Preschoolers are more keenly aware of how people’s emotions, words, and behaviors connect (Thompson, 2023). They carefully interpret what they see and hear within their social environment and learn how to interact with peers and adults.

8.3.1 Play Theories and Frameworks

Preschoolers will continue to build up on the play skills learned in infancy and toddlerhood. They can move through various types of play but their increased cognitive, language, and social skills often lend themselves to spend more time in symbolic, constructive, or cooperative play.

8.3.1.1 Parten’s Classification of Play

We are revisiting Mildred Parten’s classification of play from Chapter 6 in the preschool years because each of the categories still applies to the way three to six year olds interact with their environments and peers. Below you will see the classification of play and some typical behaviors associated with each category.

Table 8.1. Parten’s Classification of Play for Preschoolers

Parten’s Classification of Play by Christina Belli is licensed under CC BY 4.0.

8.3.1.2 Piaget’s Stages of Play

While Piaget believed that children progress through the stages of play as they gained cognitive skills, he also recognized that the different stages of play can be enjoyed by children throughout their childhood, not just at specific ages (Lumen Learning, n.d.). We are revisiting Piaget’s stages of play from Chapter 6.

Table 8.2. Piaget’s Stages of Play

8.3.1.3 Play as Sensory Learning

Maria Montessori, an Italian educationist during the early 1900s, postulated that “play is the child’s work.” According to the Montessori method, which is still employed today in private schools, children would be best served spending their play time learning or imagining. Montessori play is sensory, using a hands-on approach to everyday tools like sand tables. The child sets their own pace, and the teacher is collaborative in helping the child play to learn.

8.3.1.4 Play in the Reggio Emilia Approach

The Reggio Emilia approach does not separate the ideas of learning and play, and rather sees them as integral in the growth and development of young children. Reggio Emilia believes that children have a hundred different ways of thinking, learning, and discovering, and play is the perfect vehicle for exploring their environment and gaining knowledge. Whether through dance, painting, singing, pretend play, or jumping around outside, kids are learning. If you have ever watched preschoolers play you know that they are incredibly creative and imaginative, and can turn sticks, rocks, paper, or really anything into a toy or a game. Let kids play, because that is how they learn!

8.3.3 Social Emotional Theories and Milestones

Preschoolers are developing many social and emotional skills from three to six years old. The interactions they have with others influences the way in which skills are learned. Below we will look at two different theories that have been used to explain social and emotional development in children.

8.3.3.1 Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development

Researcher Erik Erikson believed that children learn through their social interactions. In preschool, children will experience unique “conflicts” that will help them develop. The first two stages of Erikson’s theory were covered in the previous unit and we will now focus on stage 3 of his theory.

Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt (3 to 5 years old)

The third stage of Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development is initiative versus guilt (Erikson, 1982). In this stage, children are eager to try new things, learn new skills, and engage with peers. This desire to take initiative occurs when children successfully achieve trust and autonomy in stages 1 and 2. Children learn that they have power over what happens to them and can influence the world they live in.

Preschoolers who live in supportive environments with nurturing caregivers have no trouble initiating activities or exploring their worlds independently. They may want to pretend that they are in school with their friends or they may work together to build a lego castle. Children may also want to take over self-care tasks such as dressing oneself without the help of an adult. Caregivers can support a preschool child’s sense of initiative by giving them space to try new things and to avoid being critical of any mistakes (or messes) that arise from this independence. Encouragement is key for optimal development.

Unfortunately, some children do not live in supportive environments. They may experience criticism by their caregivers or are overly controlled by the adults around them. These barriers result in children being hesitant to try new things or they may feel guilt or shame if they try a task and fail. This inhibits their natural sense of purpose and curiosity. Guilt is a common feeling experienced by children but it should not overwhelm their need for initiative. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of “purpose” which contributes to a healthy relationship between the self and the external world (Orenstein & Lewis, 2022).

Figure 8.10. Children playing in the sand.

8.3.3.2 Social Learning Theory

Have you ever heard the phrase “monkey see, monkey do”? If so, you are familiar with Albert Bandura’s social learning theory. As mentioned in Chapter 6, infants and toddlers spend much of their time learning about their environment and observing others, mainly their caregivers. Preschool children continue to use observational learning during this stage of development but are now exposed to several models of behavior such as caregivers, friends and relatives, teachers or child care providers, and characters on television or other media (Health Research Funding, n.d.).

Social learning theory helps us understand some typical behaviors that we see during the preschool years such as understanding gender where children might mimic the behaviors of those aligned with their own gender. We may also notice some atypical behaviors as children “try” new things as a result of imitation or modeling (Health Research Funding, n.d.).

8.3.4 Social and Emotional Milestones

A child’s expanded understanding of themselves and others develops with age. Many factors contribute to the way in which children develop social and emotional skills. Below is a list of the most common social and emotional milestones typically displayed during the preschool years. It is important to remember that each child is unique and may develop these skills at different rates than outlined below.

Table 8.3. Social and Emotional Milestones

Developmental Milestones by the (CDC, 2022)