Gender identity development is a complex process. It is impacted by physical and cognitive changes as well as social and emotional development. In many ways, gender identity influences and is influenced by all developmental domains. Because gender in and of itself is a construct, the concept is often understood and experienced through relationships with self and others. Therefore, we have chosen to nest the topic in social and emotional development.

In the developmental stage of middle childhood, children begin to develop a stronger understanding of their gender identity. Gender identity development refers to the process through which children acquire a sense of their own gender and align themselves with the cultural and societal expectations associated with being male or female. During this period, children become more aware of gender roles, stereotypes, and the differences between boys and girls. They may also exhibit a greater interest in engaging in gender-typed activities, preferences for same-gender friendships, and an increased awareness of their own gender-related behaviors and appearance. This is a critical stage where children navigate their own gender identity within the broader social context, and it sets the foundation for their future understanding and expression of gender as they move into adolescence and beyond. Parents, educators, and caregivers play an important role in supporting healthy gender identity development by providing a safe and accepting environment that encourages exploration, questions, and discussions around gender, while also challenging rigid gender stereotypes and promoting gender equality.

11.4.1 Gender as a construct

Gender is a social construct that refers to the roles, behaviors, expectations, and identities that society attributes to individuals based on their perceived sex. While sex is determined by biological factors such as reproductive organs and chromosomes, gender is a set of cultural and societal norms that dictate how individuals should act, dress, and relate to others based on their perceived sex. These norms and expectations vary across cultures and historical periods, demonstrating that gender is not fixed or inherent but rather a product of socialization and learned behaviors. The concepts of masculinity and femininity, as well as the division of labor and responsibilities, are examples of gender constructs that differ across societies. Recognizing gender as a social construct allows us to understand that gender roles and expectations are not universal or biologically determined but are instead influenced by social, cultural, and historical factors. This understanding enables us to critically examine and challenge rigid gender norms, strive for gender equality, and create more inclusive and accepting societies for individuals of all gender identities.

11.4.1.1 Gender Stereotyping

Gender stereotypes in childhood are shaped by various factors, including the family and home environment, media and popular culture, peer influence, the educational setting, and cultural and societal norms. Within the family, children observe and internalize gender-related messages through behaviors, expectations, and the division of household tasks. Media plays a significant role in perpetuating stereotypes, as children are exposed to gender-specific portrayals in television, movies, and advertisements. Peers and social interactions also contribute to the formation of gender stereotypes, as children learn and conform to gender norms within their peer groups. The educational environment, including teachers and curriculum materials, can either challenge or reinforce gender stereotypes. Finally, cultural and societal norms influence children’s understanding of gender roles, as prevailing beliefs and expectations shape their perceptions. Recognizing and challenging these stereotypes is essential for fostering gender equality and promoting individual expression and identity development in children.

Families play a crucial role in the development and perpetuation of gender stereotypes. Through their words, actions, and expectations, parents and caregivers transmit societal norms and reinforce traditional gender roles within the family environment. This influence begins early in a child’s life and continues throughout their formative years. Parents often provide gendered cues and messages to their children. They may assign specific toys, clothing, and activities based on their child’s gender, inadvertently reinforcing stereotypes. For instance, boys may be encouraged to play with trucks and engage in rough play, while girls are steered towards dolls and nurturing activities. These subtle cues can shape children’s understanding of what is appropriate or expected for their gender.

Parents often model gendered behavior themselves. Children observe how their parents and other family members behave, fulfilling traditional gender roles. For example, fathers may be engaged in more instrumental tasks like fixing things, while mothers take on nurturing and caregiving responsibilities. These behaviors serve as powerful examples for children and contribute to their perception of gender roles and expectations. Additionally, parents may unintentionally reinforce gender stereotypes through differential treatment. They may praise and encourage certain behaviors or interests based on gender, inadvertently promoting and perpetuating traditional gender norms. For instance, boys may receive more recognition for being assertive, while girls are praised for being cooperative or polite. These differential responses can influence children’s self-perception and shape their behavior accordingly.

Furthermore, family discussions and conversations can reinforce gender stereotypes. Conversations about societal expectations, career choices, or gender-related topics can unknowingly perpetuate existing biases. The language used, the examples provided, and the beliefs expressed within the family can all contribute to the formation and maintenance of gender stereotypes.

Not all families adhere to traditional gender norms and actively challenge stereotypes. Many families work towards providing their children with equal opportunities, encouraging diverse interests, and promoting individual expression. However, the influence of societal and cultural norms can still exert pressure on families, making it essential to raise awareness and foster discussions that challenge gender stereotypes within the family unit.

11.4.2 Gender identities

Gender identity refers to an individual’s deeply felt sense of their own gender, which may or may not correspond to the sex they were assigned at birth. Increasingly, there is an awareness that gender identity is a more complex process. The binary understanding of gender is inadequate to capture the lived experiences of many individuals (Butler, 1990).

11.4.2.1 Cisgender

Cisgender is a term used to describe individuals whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who was assigned female at birth and identifies and lives as a woman is considered cisgender. The term “cis-” is derived from the Latin word meaning “on the same side,” indicating that a cisgender person’s gender identity corresponds to the sex they were assigned at birth. Cisgender individuals typically have a sense of being comfortable with the gender identity that aligns with societal expectations and the gender roles associated with their assigned sex. Their gender identity is congruent with the cultural norms and expectations commonly attributed to their assigned sex, such as identifying as a man or a woman and conforming to the associated gender roles, behaviors, and expressions.

While cisgender individuals make up the majority of the population, it is important to recognize that cisgender identity is not the only valid or normal way of experiencing gender. Understanding cisgender as a distinct term helps highlight the diversity of gender identities and encourages inclusivity by acknowledging that there are different ways individuals experience and relate to their gender.

11.4.2.2 Gender fluid

People who identify as gender fluid may experience different gender identities at different times or in different contexts. They may feel a fluidity in their sense of self, moving between various gender expressions or identities along a spectrum. For gender-fluid individuals, their gender identity may be influenced by factors such as personal feelings, social environments, or personal growth. They may identify as male, female, a combination of genders, or as having a gender that is outside the traditional binary system at different points in their lives. Gender fluidity can manifest as fluctuations between masculinity and femininity or as a non-binary identity that transcends the binary concept of gender. Gender-fluid individuals may express their gender through various means, such as clothing choices, grooming styles, or changes in name and pronouns, depending on how they feel at any given time.

11.4.2.3 Non-binary

Gender non-binary, also referred to as non-binary or enby, is a gender identity that exists outside the traditional binary understanding of male and female. Individuals who identify as non-binary do not exclusively identify as either male or female and may experience their gender identity as a combination, fluidity, or as having a gender that is completely distinct from the binary system. Non-binary individuals may express their gender in various ways, which can include a combination of masculine and feminine traits or an expression that is not easily categorized within traditional gender norms. They may use gender-neutral pronouns such as “they/them,” although pronoun preferences can vary from person to person.

The concept of non-binary challenges the societal assumption that gender is strictly binary and highlights the diversity of gender identities beyond the male-female dichotomy. It acknowledges and affirms the experiences and identities of those who do not fit within the traditional gender framework. Non-binary individuals may face unique challenges, including navigating social expectations, accessing appropriate healthcare, and gaining legal recognition of their gender identity.

Respecting and validating non-binary identities is essential for creating an inclusive and affirming society. It involves using correct pronouns and names, listening to individuals’ experiences and self-identifications, and advocating for their rights and well-being. Embracing and celebrating gender diversity helps foster an environment that values and supports the full spectrum of human identity.

11.4.2.4 Transgender

Transgender is a term used to describe individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex assigned to them at birth. It encompasses a wide range of experiences and identities. For example, someone who was assigned male at birth but identifies and lives as a woman is considered a transgender woman, while someone assigned female at birth who identifies and lives as a man is considered a transgender man. Transgender individuals may experience a deep and persistent disconnect between their gender identity and the sex they were assigned at birth (Beemyn & Rankin, 2011). This misalignment often leads to feelings of gender dysphoria, which refers to the distress or discomfort caused by the incongruence between one’s gender identity and assigned sex.

Many transgender individuals undergo a process called transitioning, which can involve social, medical, or legal aspects. Social transitioning involves living and presenting oneself as their affirmed gender, which may include changes in name, pronouns, clothing, and appearance. Medical transitioning may involve hormone therapy or various gender-affirming surgeries to align one’s physical characteristics with their gender identity. Legal transitioning involves updating official documents, such as identification cards and legal gender markers, to reflect one’s affirmed gender. Some individuals who identify as transgender may participate in multiple aspects of transitioning, while others may not formally participate in transitioning.

Each person may choose a different pathway based on what is desired as well as what seems accessible and supported. There is no single, correct way to navigate identity as a transgender person; each person deserves the support and the resources to choose what is best for them.

It is essential to approach transgender identities with respect, empathy, and acceptance. Acknowledging and affirming individuals’ self-identified gender is crucial for their well-being and inclusion in society.

11.4.2.5 Two spirit

The term “two-spirit” is rooted in Indigenous cultures in North America and refers to individuals who embody both masculine and feminine qualities within their gender identity. It is a distinct cultural and spiritual identity that often goes beyond the Western understanding of gender. In Indigenous communities, two-spirit people are seen as having a special place within their societies, often holding important roles as healers, mediators, or spiritual leaders (Jacobs, Thomas & Lang, 1997).

The concept of two-spirit recognizes that gender is not solely determined by biological sex or confined to a binary understanding of male or female. Instead, it acknowledges the existence of a diverse range of gender expressions and identities. Two-spirit individuals may embrace and embody both masculine and feminine characteristics, recognizing the fluidity and interconnectedness of these aspects within themselves.

The specific meaning and understanding of two-spirit identity may vary among different Indigenous cultures and communities, as each has its own distinct traditions and beliefs. However, at its core, two-spirit represents a celebration of gender diversity and a reminder of the cultural wisdom and acceptance that Indigenous communities have long held regarding gender identities beyond the male-female binary.

Understanding and respecting two-spirit identity is an essential step towards recognizing and valuing the richness and diversity of gender expressions and identities that exist within and beyond Western frameworks. It is crucial to listen to and learn from Indigenous communities themselves to gain a deeper understanding of two-spirit experiences and foster inclusivity and respect for all gender identities.

11.4.2.6 Agender

Agender is a term used to describe individuals who do not identify with any gender or have a genderless identity. Agender individuals may experience a lack of connection to the concept of gender altogether, feeling a sense of neutrality or absence of gender within themselves (Haefele-Thomas, 2020). They may not resonate with the societal expectations, roles, or characteristics traditionally associated with being male or female. For agender individuals, their self-identity is not defined or influenced by gender. They may have a deep sense of being neither male nor female, or they may view themselves as outside the gender binary altogether. Agender people may express their gender identity through a variety of means, often embracing a gender-neutral appearance or adopting pronouns such as “they/them” or neopronouns like “ze/zir” or “xe/xem.” Respecting and validating agender identities involves acknowledging and accepting an individual’s self-identified gender and using appropriate pronouns and language that align with their genderless identity. It also means creating inclusive spaces where agender individuals feel seen, heard, and affirmed.

11.4.2.7 Genderqueer

Genderqueer describes individuals who do not conform to traditional notions of gender or who reject the binary understanding of male and female identities. Genderqueer individuals often embody and embrace a non-normative or fluid gender identity that exists outside the confines of the gender binary (Halberstam, 2012).. People who identify as genderqueer may experience their gender identity as a combination of male and female, as having a gender that fluctuates or changes over time, or as a unique and distinct gender identity that is beyond the binary. They may express their gender through a diverse range of appearances, styles, and pronouns that challenge societal expectations and norms.

Genderqueer individuals often advocate for the recognition and acceptance of a broader spectrum of gender identities. They may actively resist or challenge traditional gender roles and expectations, seeking to create spaces that are more inclusive and affirming of diverse gender expressions. It is important to note that genderqueer experiences can vary greatly from person to person, as genderqueer identities are deeply personal and individualistic. Respecting genderqueer identities involves using correct pronouns and names as per an individual’s preferences, being open to their self-expressions and experiences, and recognizing the validity of their gender identity.

11.4.3 Gender expression and and the alignment of gender performance

Gender expression refers to the outward presentation of one’s gender identity. It encompasses the behaviors, mannerisms, clothing, hairstyles, and other forms of self-expression that individuals use to communicate their gender to others. Gender expression is highly personal and can vary greatly from person to person. In society, gender expression is often associated with societal norms and expectations related to masculinity and femininity. These norms can vary across cultures and change over time. For example, traditionally feminine gender expression might include wearing dresses, having long hair, or engaging in nurturing behaviors, while traditionally masculine gender expression might involve wearing pants, having short hair, or displaying assertiveness.

Gender behavior alignment refers to situations where a person’s gender identity aligns with societal expectations and norms regarding their behaviors, interests, and expressions. In such cases, individuals feel a sense of comfort and congruence between their internal gender identity and the external behaviors associated with their gender.

On the other hand, gender behavior dissonance occurs when there is a disconnect or incongruity between a person’s gender identity and the societal expectations placed upon them. This dissonance arises when individuals feel that their internal sense of gender does not align with the behaviors, interests, or expressions typically associated with their assigned sex at birth.

Gender behavior dissonance can lead to feelings of discomfort, frustration, and conflict. For example, a person assigned female at birth who identifies as male may experience dissonance if societal expectations for femininity do not resonate with their internal sense of self. Similarly, a person assigned male at birth who identifies as female may experience dissonance when societal expectations for masculinity clash with their authentic gender identity.

11.4.3.1 Gender expression and self-esteem

Gender expression can have a significant impact on self-esteem during middle childhood, when children develop a stronger sense of self and begin to explore and understand their gender identity. During this time, they may start to exhibit behaviors, preferences, and interests that align with societal expectations for their gender.

When children’s gender expression aligns with societal norms, they often receive positive reinforcement and acceptance from their peers and adults, which can contribute to higher self-esteem. For example, a girl who enjoys playing with dolls and dressing in traditionally feminine clothing might receive compliments and encouragement, which can enhance her self-esteem.

However, when a child’s gender expression deviates from societal norms, they may face challenges that can impact their self-esteem. This can occur when children express their gender identity in ways that do not conform to societal expectations or when their gender identity differs from their assigned sex at birth.

Children who express their gender in non-stereotypical ways may experience social stigma, discrimination, teasing, and bullying from their peers. For example, a boy who prefers playing with dolls or dressing in traditionally feminine clothing may face ridicule or exclusion. These negative experiences can lead to lower self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.

Furthermore, children who identify as transgender or gender nonconforming may experience internal conflicts and struggle with their self-esteem. They may feel a disconnect between their gender identity and the expectations placed upon them by society or their families. This can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and low self-worth.

Self-esteem is influenced by various factors, including family support, peer relationships, and cultural contexts. Supportive and accepting environments, where children are encouraged to express their gender identity authentically, can positively impact their self-esteem. Open-mindedness, education, and fostering inclusivity can help create an environment where children feel accepted and valued for who they are, regardless of their gender expression.

11.4.3.2 Gender expression and romantic relationships

Gender expression can influence how children navigate these early attractions and friendships. Societal expectations and gender stereotypes may play a role in shaping children’s understanding of what is considered appropriate or acceptable behavior within these relationships. For example, boys may feel pressured to exhibit more assertive or dominant behaviors, while girls may feel encouraged to be nurturing or accommodating.

Children who deviate from traditional gender norms in their expression may encounter challenges or biases in their interactions with peers. For instance, a boy who expresses femininity or a girl who exhibits masculinity might face teasing, exclusion, or misunderstanding from their peers. These negative experiences can affect their self-esteem and social interactions, potentially influencing their ability to form and maintain friendships, including those that could evolve into romantic relationships later on. Youth who do not identify as cisgender may also find it difficult to see themselves represented in social-emotional and sex education curricula, creating a barrier to equitable education and further marginalizing their identities.

By challenging gender stereotypes and promoting acceptance, children can feel more comfortable and confident in their interactions with others. This, in turn, can contribute to healthier and more positive relationships during middle childhood and beyond.

11.4.3.3 Differences between gender expression and sexual orientation

Gender expression and sexual orientation are distinct aspects of human identity, although they are often intertwined. Gender expression refers to how individuals present and express their gender identity through behaviors, clothing, hairstyles, and other external characteristics. It encompasses the ways in which people choose to express their sense of being masculine, feminine, or non-binary. On the other hand, sexual orientation refers to an individual’s enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to others. It involves the gender or genders to which a person is attracted, such as being heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or pansexual. While gender expression relates to how a person outwardly expresses their gender identity, sexual orientation focuses on the gender(s) to which an individual is attracted emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually. It is essential to recognize and respect both gender expression and sexual orientation as unique and personal aspects of an individual’s identity.

Having gender-inclusive sex education in middle school is important for several reasons:

• Inclusivity and Diversity: Gender-inclusive sex education acknowledges and respects the diversity of gender identities and expressions. It ensures that all students, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation, feel seen, valued, and included. This fosters a sense of belonging and helps create a safe and supportive learning environment for all students.
• Comprehensive Understanding: Gender-inclusive sex education goes beyond binary perspectives of gender and recognizes the existence of transgender, non-binary, and gender nonconforming individuals. It provides students with a more accurate and comprehensive understanding of human sexuality and gender diversity, promoting empathy, tolerance, and respect.
• Health and Well-being: Sex education is not just about reproduction or preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs); it encompasses a wide range of topics related to sexual health and well-being. Gender-inclusive sex education addresses issues such as consent, healthy relationships, body image, self-esteem, and communication skills. These topics are relevant to all students, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation, and help promote positive attitudes towards oneself and others.
• Reduction of Stigma and Discrimination: Gender-inclusive sex education helps reduce stigma, discrimination, and bullying based on gender identity or sexual orientation. By providing accurate information, challenging stereotypes, and promoting understanding, it empowers students to reject harmful biases and fosters a more inclusive and accepting school culture.
• Mental and Emotional Health: Adolescence is a critical time for self-discovery, identity formation, and navigating relationships. Gender-inclusive sex education provides students with the knowledge and resources to understand their own feelings and attractions, as well as those of others. It can help prevent feelings of confusion, isolation, or shame that some students may experience due to societal pressures or lack of information about diverse gender identities and sexual orientations.
• Preparation for the Future: Gender-inclusive sex education prepares students for a diverse and interconnected world. It equips them with the skills to navigate relationships, understand consent, make informed decisions, and respect the rights and boundaries of others. This knowledge is essential for building healthy and respectful relationships in adolescence and beyond.