Researchers believe that children start to develop a sense of self once they recognize that they are separate beings from their primary caregivers. There is no general consensus on what age this process begins and research on infants has had mixed results. What we do know is that young infants spend much time exploring their bodies via their senses. They eventually understand that they have a body and they can do things with it like make noises or manipulate objects in their environment. Another stepping stone to developing a sense of self is when children attain object permanence, which is the understanding that someone or something is there even when not visibly present.

At around 6 to 12 months infants will experience separation anxiety when they are not near their primary caregiver. This implies their understanding that the caregiver is a separate person and their absence causes stress within the child which they express through crying or other vocalizations. Emotional expression also demonstrates a child’s understanding of self. For example, emotions like guilt or shame indicate that the child has become conscious of themselves and their actions.

Toddlers can clearly demonstrate their sense of self when their language becomes more developed. They will use phrases such as “ I do it” or “that’s mine” which indicate understanding of possession and one’s own identity. They also exercise their right to independence which can be seen in the way they manipulate objects in their environment through exploration and play. As toddlers move through the preoperational stage and develop their cognitive and social skills, they will learn to understand empathy and to see situations through the eyes of others. This furthers their understanding of themselves and their relation to others or things in the world.

Caregivers are the first starting point in a child’s development of self. They learn who they are based on the way they are treated. If a child receives warm and positive care from their guardians, they will learn that they are loved and cared for. If a child is ignored or treated in a harsh, condescending way, the child may think that there is something wrong with them. “The process of recognizing oneself seems to be gradual and continuous” (Brooks-Gunn & Lewis, 1975). As children interact with more adults and children, the formation of their identity can mold and change.

A child’s cultural and ethnic background also impacts their identity formation. Children will be exposed to cultural norms early on in the form of language, social rituals, values and beliefs, religion, and family structures. Certain cultures may place importance on individual skills and mastery while other cultures focus on how each person contributes to the larger community.

6.11.1 Gender Identity

Children are starting to understand about gender but most of their concepts are directly influenced by the way that others interact with them.