As we can see, infants and toddlers are developing many social and emotional skills in the first three years of life. They are learning to express and temper their feelings, how to positively engage with others, and they are developing a sense of who they are in the world. Every child develops in their own way and time. Social emotional development first begins with a caring and loving attachment to caregivers and is enhanced through meaningful interactions with others and the environment. Below we will look at two different theories that have been used to explain social and emotional development over the lifespan. The following section will list the common developmental milestones expected for social emotional development.

6.7.1 Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development

Researcher Erik Erikson believed that children learn through their social interactions. As children grow and expand their experiences, they encounter various “conflicts” that they must overcome. Once children successfully overcome these conflicts, they build upon valuable skills that impact them later in their lives. He labeled these as “virtues”, which are strengths that a child can use to resolve future conflicts. Erikson’s theory includes eight stages, the first two which coincide with infancy and toddlerhood. Erikson agreed with attachment theorists that establishing a basic sense of trust in one’s caregivers sets the stage for future development.

Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust (0-18 months)

The first stage of Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development is trust versus mistrust (Erikson, 1982). In this stage, children spend the first 18 months of their lives trying to understand the world that they live in. Children rely solely on their caregivers for food, comfort and security. Responsive caregivers respond to a child’s innate needs and positively interact with them as much as possible. This allows the child to feel secure in the world. Children who successfully achieve trust in this stage will earn the virtue of “hope” which allows them to believe that future others will be available to support them.

If there is a disruption in this process, a child will not develop a basic sense of trust. Perhaps a caregiver is emotionally unavailable to the child or they consistently fail to meet the child’s basic needs. These types of deprivations lead a child to mistrust their caregivers and thereby impact future relationships with others. The child may view the world as an unpredictable and scary place.

Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (18 months to 3 years)

The second stage of Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development is autonomy vs. shame and doubt (Erikson, 1982). In this stage, children spend their toddler years establishing their independence and refining their skills. Responsive caregivers allow children to have a sense of control over their decisions and abilities. Children who successfully achieve autonomy in this stage will earn the virtue of “will” which allows them to have a feeling of control over their lives.

Children may experience a disruption in this process if their caregivers are too controlling or judgmental. They may develop low self-esteem or a sense of doubt or shame in their abilities to control their lives.

6.7.2 Social Learning Theory

Psychologist Albert Bandura proposed that children learn through the imitation and modeling of others’ behavior. This is known as the Social Learning Theory. Bandura claims that we are not simply a product of our environment but that we also have an influence on what we learn from the environment (Bandura, 1977). Bandura used experiments with a Bobo doll to demonstrate that children learned from watching others. In the experiment, adults acted violently toward a Bobo doll while children observed. Later, the children were allowed to play with the Bobo doll and they copied the aggressive behaviors witnessed.

This type of observational learning means that a child can learn from watching others in real time, watching real or fictional characters through television, books, or other media, and from listening to others. The child’s cognitive capacity and their motivation determine how much of the behavior is learned or not learned. This theory has been used in discussions about young children’s exposure to television and other types of media.

6.7.3 Social Emotional Milestones

Young children begin learning social and emotional skills starting from birth. These skills are mainly directed towards their primary caregivers but eventually extend towards others in their environments. Below is a list of the most common social and emotional milestones typically displayed during the first 3 years. It is important to remember that each child is unique and may develop these skills at different rates than outlined below.

Table 6.2. Social and Emotional Milestones

Developmental Milestones by the (CDC, 2022)