7.14 Sexual Development
During the preschool years, children are aware of their own bodies but also become curious about other people’s bodies. They are keenly aware of physical differences between themselves and the people around them. By now, we expect that children can label body parts, including sexual organs, by their appropriate names. They may also start to use other terms based on peer interactions.
7.14.1 Body Awareness and Exploration
Preschoolers are aware of their physical bodies and their sex organs. They may engage in many typical behaviors such looking at their naked bodies or touching their genitals. Sexual behavior in this stage of development is sensory and based on curiosity. Preschoolers do not have a concept of erotic pleasure but do understand that certain parts of the body produce pleasurable sensations when touched. Some children will touch themselves to self-soothe.
Preschool children may explore their bodies in private but some will touch themselves in public places. If a caregiver notices this behavior, they can gently educate the child about appropriate and inappropriate body exploration.
The American Academy of Pediatrics lists several common sexual behaviors for preschoolers (AAP, 2023). These include:
- Touching/rubbing genitals in public or private
- Looking at or touching a peer’s or sibling’s genitals
- Showing genitals to peers
- Standing or sitting too close to someone
- Trying to see peers or adults naked
7.14.2 Body Safety and Consent
As mentioned in Chapter 5, infants and toddlers should learn about basic body safety as well as be encouraged to express consent over their bodies being touched. This education should continue in the preschool years and can include more explicit information about personal safety such as discussions about sexual abuse and inappropriate touch. Children can be taught about privacy and learn that their body is private and no one has the right to touch them. They can also be taught about the social boundaries involving their bodies such as not allowing other children to touch them in their private areas.
It is important to teach children about consent and encourage them to exercise their voice when someone violates their personal boundaries and body. They should not be forced to hug, kiss, or touch anyone that they do not want to. Similarly, preschool children should be allowed to have privacy when changing their clothes or bathing (if developmentally appropriate). Children should be taught to report situations that feel uncomfortable or when someone violates their body space.
Table 7.5 shows the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines for common and uncommon sexual behavior for 2 to 6 year olds.
Table 7.5. Examples of Sexual Behaviors in Children Aged 2 Through 6 Years. |
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Common, normal behaviors |
Less common normal behaviors |
Uncommon normal behaviors in children |
Rarely normal |
Touching/masturbating genitals in public or private |
Rubbing body against others |
Asking a peer or adult to engage in specific sexual act(s) |
Any sexual behaviors involving children who are 4 or more years apart |
Viewing or touching peer or a new sibling’s genitals |
Trying to insert tongue in mouth while kissing |
Inserting objects into genitals |
A variety of sexual behaviors displayed on a daily basis |
Showing genitals to peers |
Touching a peer’s or an adult’s genitals |
Explicit imitation of sexual intercourse |
Sexual behavior that results in emotional distress or physical pain |
Standing/sitting too close |
Crude mimic of movements associated with sexual acts |
Touching animal genitals |
Sexual behaviors associated with other physically aggressive behavior |
Tries to view peers or adults nude |
Sexual behaviors that are occasional but persistent and disruptive to others |
Sexual behaviors that are frequently disruptive to others |
Sexual behaviors that involve coercion |
Behaviors are transient, not very frequent and can be easily diverted |
Behaviors are transient and moderately responsive to distraction |
Behaviors that persist and are resistant to parental distraction |
Behaviors are persistent and child becomes angry if distracted |
Source: American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023.
7.14.3 Licenses and Attributions for Sexual Development
“Sexual Development” by Christina Belli is licensed under CC BY 4.0.