The preschool years are a time of curiosity, understanding, and intense play. Maturation of the brain allows preschoolers to learn important social skills as well as use symbolic thought in their interactions. Advances in executive functions mean that preschoolers can regulate their emotions more efficiently than in toddlerhood and they can now better interpret the emotions expressed by others. Three to six year olds have an increased capacity for empathy and they are able to understand that others have different perspectives than they do. This skill helps them connect with others and form positive relationships.

By now, caregivers have provided a foundation for a child’s sense of trust and safety. Caregivers who were nurturing to their children in infancy and toddlerhood have provided a model for how to develop quality social relationships with others. Children who experience disruption in this foundation will demonstrate delays or dysfunction in their social and emotional development. As we have learned in the previous chapters, there are a variety of biological, social, and environmental factors that can negatively impact children.

Adverse childhood experiences, or events that cause trauma and toxic stress, can shift a child’s developmental trajectory (Malik & Marwaha, 2022). These effects are further compounded if a child experiences stress early on in their development and it continues through the preschool age. For example, studies suggest that babies who are exposed to maternal stress in the womb will have impacted stress responsiveness later in their development (Shonkoff & Garner, 2012). Many children can overcome the impact of trauma or toxic stress if they have nurturing and supportive caregivers by their side (Luby et al., 2016).

An important milestone in preschool development is the emergence of a distinct personality. Preschoolers will likely retain specific aspects of their infant and toddler temperament but now we will see their personality come into bloom. Personality is influenced by many factors but essentially people tend to retain the same traits or aspects of their personality throughout their lives. These traits become refined over time (Thompson, 2023). Children form their personality as a result of the many factors they encounter throughout their development such as biological disposition, social experiences, and environmental opportunities (Thompson, 2023).

Play continues to be an important vehicle for social and emotional development. Preschoolers enthusiastically play in and explore their environments. This is why the preschool years are often known as the playful years. The cognitive, language and motor skills children are learning become the basis for imaginative and cooperative play. They are able to think about complex scenarios, communicate well with others to achieve a goal, and use their bodies to act out their thoughts. Through play and social interactions, preschoolers enhance their problem solving skills, learn to increase their memory and attention spans, and discover a new sense of self. Most preschoolers have not entered formal schooling during this stage of their lives but the social and emotional skills they develop in these three years are foundational to future learning and interactions.

In the next few sections, we will explore the various areas of social and emotional development which include:

• Attachment and bonding
• Temperament and personality development
• Emotional development and self-regulation
• Play and social competence

Let’s begin by looking into the foundations of social and emotional development by exploring attachment and bonding in the preschool years.

8.2.1 Attachment and Bonding

Thus far, we have discussed the importance of healthy attachment and bonding to infant and toddler growth. Although preschool aged children are increasingly independent, caregivers should continue to make meaningful connections with their child. Preschoolers experience profound brain growth during this stage, highlighting the importance of positive attachment. Lack of healthy attachments can impact the long term health of children. For example, a study shows that when children do not form secure attachments with their caregivers, “there is increasing evidence…that neglect, parental inconsistency and a lack of love can lead to long-term mental health problems as well as to reduced overall potential and happiness ”(Winston & Chicot, 2016)

Karen Stephens, former director of the Illinois State University Child Care Center, writes about the importance of bonding in the preschool years. Bonding that is nurtured from infancy through the preschool years will lead to maximum benefits for the child. “These include an optimistic attitude toward life and greater resilience to stress or trauma. Refined brain development and learning pathways expand, too. Preschoolers’ trust in adults, self-confidence, and even the immune system gets a boost from strong emotional attachments.” (Stephens, 2007).

This is a time where we may see the impact of unhealthy attachments. (more to be added here)

8.2.2 Temperament and Personality Development

Temperament does not change dramatically as we grow up, but we may learn how to work around and manage our temperamental qualities. Temperament may be one of the things about us that stays the same throughout development. In contrast, personality, defined as an individual’s consistent pattern of feeling, thinking, and behaving, is the result of the continuous interplay between factors. Personality develops through a combination of genetic factors (temperament at birth), social influences (interactions with caregivers and others), and environmental factors (stress, trauma, safety, opportunities).

Personality also develops from temperament in other ways (Thompson et al., 2010). As children mature biologically, temperamental characteristics emerge and change over time. A newborn is not capable of much self-control, but as brain-based capacities for self-control advance, temperamental changes in self-regulation become more apparent. For example, a newborn who cries frequently doesn’t necessarily have a grumpy personality; over time, with sufficient parental support and an increased sense of security, the child might be less likely to cry.

In addition, personality is made up of many other features besides temperament. Children’s developing self-concept, their motivations to achieve or to socialize, their values and goals, their coping styles, their sense of responsibility and conscientiousness, as well as many other qualities, are encompassed into personality. These qualities are influenced by biological dispositions, but even more by the child’s experiences with others, particularly in close relationships, that guide the growth of individual characteristics. Indeed, personality development begins with the biological foundations of temperament but becomes increasingly elaborated, extended, and refined over time. The newborn that parents gazed upon thus becomes an adult with a personality of depth and nuance.

8.2.3 Emotional Development and Self-Regulation

One of the skills the preschoolers develop during this stage is the ability to control their own emotions. They can also interpret the emotions of others yet they may be limited in understanding abstract emotions such as greed or gratitude. Self-regulation in preschool years refers to a child’s ability to manage and control their emotions, behavior, and impulses. It involves developing skills to regulate their attention, emotions, and actions in order to adapt to different situations and interact effectively with others. Here are some key points about self-regulation in the preschool years:

1. Emotional regulation: Preschoolers are learning to identify and regulate their emotions. They are developing strategies to cope with different feelings, such as anger, frustration, and sadness. Through guidance and support from adults, they learn to express and manage their emotions in socially acceptable ways.
2. Impulse control: Preschoolers are working on controlling their impulses and delaying gratification. They are learning to think before acting and resisting the urge to engage in impulsive or inappropriate behaviors. Developing self-control allows them to make better decisions and consider the consequences of their actions.
3. Attention regulation: Preschoolers are gradually improving their ability to focus and sustain attention on tasks. They are learning to filter out distractions and concentrate on activities for longer periods of time. This skill is important for academic readiness, as it enables them to engage in structured learning activities and follow instructions.
4. Stress management: Preschoolers are exposed to various stressors, both at home and in their environment. Self-regulation skills help them cope with stress and anxiety. They learn to use calming strategies, such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, or seeking support from trusted adults.
5. Problem-solving skills: Self-regulation involves the ability to approach problems and conflicts in a calm and thoughtful manner. Preschoolers learn to assess situations, generate solutions, and make decisions based on their understanding of the consequences. These problem-solving skills contribute to their social development and conflict resolution abilities.
6. Self-care routines: Preschoolers start developing independence in self-care routines, such as dressing, feeding themselves, and toileting. Through practicing these routines, they gain a sense of control over their bodies and actions, enhancing their self-regulation skills.
7. Scaffolded support: Preschoolers rely on adults for guidance and support in developing self-regulation skills. Adults can provide consistent routines, clear expectations, and appropriate boundaries to help children understand and manage their behavior. By modeling self-regulation themselves, adults play a vital role in supporting preschoolers’ development in this area.
8. Play and social interaction: Play and social interactions provide opportunities for preschoolers to practice self-regulation skills. Engaging in pretend play, taking turns, sharing toys, and cooperating with others require self-control and regulation of emotions.

Developing self-regulation skills is a gradual process that continues throughout childhood. By fostering a supportive and nurturing environment, providing consistent guidance, and promoting opportunities for practice, parents, caregivers, and educators can support preschoolers in developing effective self-regulation abilities that will benefit them in various aspects of their lives.