In the previous section we examined the implications of family routines for family well-being. In this section, we will discuss the differences between routines and rituals, the importance of rituals and traditions for families, and examples that describe important life events and transitions.

What are the differences between routines and rituals? When families attribute significance and meaning to routines, especially those that promote family cohesion and family identity, routines can become rituals. As previously discussed, family routines are the predictable, repeated, consistent patterns that characterize daily home life. In contrast, family rituals are “compelling…behaviors with symbolic meanings that can be clearly described and serve to organize and affirm central family ideas” (Steinglass et al., 1987, as cited in Denham, 2003).

Figure 5.2 provides a comparison of family rituals and family routines. Family routines and rituals overlap in many ways with respect to their meanings, associations, ways they are initiated, and meaning. Routines tend to be tied to everyday life and may not hold special meaning, whereas rituals tend to be carried out in association with extraordinary events and often have symbolic significance.

Figure 5.2. This Venn diagram compares family rituals and family routines. For more detail about the elements in family routines and family rituals, consult Appendix B. Image description.

Routines and rituals build a sense of belonging, family cohesion, and family identity. While family routines can be supportive for families, they can be disruptive if they are too rigid or chaotic, require too much time or energy, lead to conflicts among family members, or contribute to family members resenting each other (Fiese, 2007). Figure 5.3 provides a summary of the supportive and disruptive elements of family routines and rituals.

Figure 5.3. This chart explores supportive and disruptive elements of routines and rituals (adapted from Fiese, 2006). Image description.

Family routines can become rituals when symbolic meaning is attached to the activity. Ritual meanings can become disruptive to families, however, if family members feel alienated or excluded, if they are cut off from emotional expression during the ritual, or if they feel coerced at any point during the ritual (Fiese, 2007). A disruption of family rituals can erode group cohesion for the family. A regular disruption of routines can be harmful because it contributes to an accumulation of stress beyond what the family can handle (Harrist et al., 2019).

Rituals Related to Life Transitions

Many cultures and societies practice rites of passage. A rite of passage can be a ritual or celebration that marks the passage when a person leaves one status, role, set of conditions, or group to enter another. Rituals and celebrations that mark a rite of passage are typically performed within a community setting and are community-created and community-directed. The rite can be a public affirmation of shared values and beliefs, such as a marriage ceremony, or it can promote community identity and cohesion, such as a powwow. Rites of passage can guide a person’s transition into a new role, status, or phase, as seen in a commencement ceremony to mark a person’s graduation from high school. Anthropological records show that humans have practiced rites of passage for thousands of years, in many different forms, and across all cultures.

Now we will describe four life transitions that are common for human experiences in the United States. The examples described below represent a minuscule fraction of the ways in which individuals, families, and communities practice rites of passage.

Birth/Family Formation

Birth is the beginning of a new life and therefore a unique life event, and rituals can be a key part of marking and celebrating such an event (Wojtkowiak, 2020). Similar to other life passages (such as adulthood, marriage, or death), considering birth as a social transition means that the pre-status or social order is temporally in a space of transition and a status of being in between two spaces or statuses. Parents-to-be are preparing mentally, materially, or even spiritually for the coming of their child and the transition into becoming parents. Family members and friends are searching for their new roles in the life of this new human being. Experiencing the birth of a baby can bring feelings of happiness and joy, as well as ambiguity and uncertainty. The coming of a new member of society has been traditionally marked by rituals. Birth is therefore understood as the first rite of passage in a human life (Van Gennep, 1960).

Rituals and ceremonies performed around the time of birth serve as celebrations to mark the occasion. Rituals can also help parents transition into new roles, as well as establish relationships of care, support, and responsibility within a community of friends and family. In this section, we will look at examples of “blessingway” ceremonies, and secular naming ceremonies.

“Blessingway” ceremonies, or “mother’s blessing,” is inspired by the traditional Navajo blessingway ceremony (Biddle, 1996). Traditional blessingway ceremonies consist of singing, chanting, and sharing stories to wish beauty, good, and harmony to the mother-to-be. The songs and stories are shared during pregnancy and childbirth. The singer, who is a traditional medicine man, performs the songs. The songs and stories are important for the mother-to-be and shape her view of childbirth and family life. Through the chants the woman is spiritually connected to her ancestors and the past and future (Biddle, 1996). A modern mother’s blessing is described as a “celebration of a woman’s transition into motherhood that’s rooted in Navajo culture. It is a spiritual gathering of the woman’s closest friends and family who come to nurture the mama-to-be with wise words, positivity, art, and pampering.” (Your guide to throwing a virtual blessingway, baby shower & gender reveal, 2020). During a mother’s blessing the mother is blessed by other significant women before the baby is born. Most of the time, the other participants are her mother and mother-in-law, sisters, aunts, and friends. However, variations are possible, and sometimes men are also present.

Naming or welcoming ceremonies for babies, inspired by traditional baptism (which typically involves water sprinkling or immersion, and religion), is a reinvented way of welcoming the baby into one’s community. It is practiced as an alternative to religious baptism. The motivation for a baby-naming ceremony is for parents or caregivers to have a ceremony that brings together friends and family to celebrate one of life’s key milestones. Naming ceremonies are ideal for families who want to mark the occasion in a way that isn’t religious. A naming ceremony is personalized and uniquely created for each family and can last between 20 to 60 minutes. Parents and other significant others can, for instance, state their hopes and wishes for the baby. “Wishes for a Child” by Joanna Miller is an example of a poem for a naming ceremony, and it appears here with other poems. Music and readings can also be part of the ceremony. Some physical symbols might be given to the baby, such as a token for guidance or something that the child can open or read later in their life. “Guideparents” might be presented to the community and they can also express their wishes to the baby. As this ritual is individually crafted for each family, the location, length, content, and other ritual elements are chosen for the occasion.

Entry into Adulthood

Coming-of-age rituals are the ceremonies or traditions that mark the leaving behind of childhood or adolescence and the entry into adulthood, maturity, or increased level of responsibility and duties. Many times a coming-of-age ritual is rooted in religious tradition, such as Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in Judaism or the Sacrament of Confirmation in Catholicism. Secular coming-of-age practices can include getting one’s driver’s license, débutante balls, high school senior prom, and graduation, or a quinceanera, as pictured in Figure 5.4.

From a parent’s point of view, watching a youth grow into maturity and take on the roles, responsibilities, and risks of adulthood can be both exciting and frightening, as the parent struggles with letting their child have more autonomy, while also fearing for their child’s well-being and safety. In this TED Talk, Marc Bamuthi Joseph shares a Black father’s tender and wrenching internal reflection on the pride and terror of seeing his son enter adulthood.

Marriage/Union Formation

Chapter 3 describes different types of unions, marriages, partnerships, and relationships that may have mixed legal, religious, or community acceptance. In this section we present a few examples of marriage and union formation rituals practiced by families in the United States. Union formations have been practiced by cultures and societies around the world for millennia. The video “The History of Marriage” provides a succinct introduction to marriage practices around the world, such as polygamy, a marriage form permitting more than one spouse at the same time.

Figure 5.6. This newly married couple is “jumping the broom,” an African American marriage tradition.

“Jumping the broom” is a marriage tradition that some African American couples practice (Figure 5.6). The tradition was mainly practiced by enslaved couples, who did not have access to the legal right of marriage due to the rampant racial discrimination that existed in the institution of chattel slavery. A couple would publicly proclaim their commitment and devotion to each other, sometimes with a priest/minister or the enslaver officiating the ceremony.

Variations of the practice could involve the couple jumping over a broom placed sideways or jumping over two brooms. The broom could be held up or placed on the ground, and the couple could jump or step over the broom at the same time or one person at a time (Dundes, 1996).

The ritual typically was regarded as a binding agreement for the couple, potentially to the extent that it was legally recognized.

While the origin of the practice is unclear, some scholars suggest brooms were symbolic in wedding rituals in Africa and thus were incorporated into wedding traditions of enslaved people in the United States during the 18th and 19th centuries (Dundes, 1996). Other researchers suggest the practice originated in the British Isles (Parry, 2020).

In contemporary weddings, couples may choose to incorporate jumping the broom into their wedding ceremony. This practice could typically occur toward the end of a wedding ceremony, when the couple have exchanged their vows in front of a room filled with friends, family, and loved ones, as the last step in culminating the wedding ceremony. A broom would be placed on the ground in front of the couple, facing the guests, and a speaker would describe the origins of the practice and what the practice symbolizes for the new couple.

For example, in this video excerpt of a couple’s ceremony, we can see a couple standing in front of the broom, while the officiate speaks to the guests:

We now end this ceremony with the African tradition of jumping the broom. Slaves in this country were not permitted to marry, so they jumped the broom as a way to [demonstrate] unity. Today it represents great joy and at the same time serves as a reminder of the past and the pain of slavery. As our bride and groom jump the broom, they physically and spiritually cross the threshold of the path of matrimony…in making their home together. It represents the sweeping away of the old and welcoming the new. The sweeping away of negative energy, making the way for all things good to come into their lives. It is also a call of support for the marriage from the entire community of family and friends. The bride and groom will now begin their new lives together with a clean sweep.

Then, the speaker asks the guests to stand and count to three, upon which the couple hop over the broom together, while the guests erupt into cheers and applause.

Death and Bereavement

Death and bereavement, or mourning the passing of a loved one, are recognized in a variety of ways, depending on the family’s own traditions and culture. The passing of a loved one can be a time of great sadness but also of joy in celebrating a person’s life and legacy. Rituals can provide opportunities for friends and family to mourn the passing of a loved one and to gather and comfort one another. In this section we will look at the example of bereavement practices among Asian Indian American Hindus (AIAHs) residing in the southern region of the United States.

Beliefs about the end of life, and the meaning of death as a transition to another ife, can help people feel less anxiety about death (Chopra, 2006). Ethnicity can provide a cultural system to make sense of the world, including suffering and loss (Gupta, 2011). AIAHs interviewed by Dr. Rashmi Gupta (2011) accessed their cultural and religious beliefs to help them make sense of death and loss, as well as provide comfort in mourning practices. In focus groups Gupta conducted with AIAHs, individuals discussed their traditional beliefs and practices and described how death and bereavement is approached in India as opposed to the United States. AIAHs strive to adhere to their religious and cultural practices as much as possible within the resources available to them in the United States. Gupta (2011) noted that the death rituals and customs followed include “delivering a eulogy, embalming at Hindu funerals, a 1- to 2-day mourning period instead of 13 days, donation of the body to science instead of cremation, and allowing the funeral home to perform the cleansing of the deceased instead of the son” (p. 257).

Despite the majority of Hindus in India believing that life-prolonging means interfere with the cycle of life and death, in the United States some Hindus have utilized artificial means to prolong life, such as a respirator. Some Hindus in the United States follow pre- and post-death rituals, whereas others do not. In India widows are expected to wear white saris and refrain from wearing makeup or jewelry for the remainder of their lives, as a sign of mourning. But in the United States as well as India, this custom is changing, with widows in the United States wearing colors that do not disrupt them blending into the workforce (Gupta, 2011).

The variation in adherence to practices may vary according to the degree of one’s acculturation, place of birth, religious orientation, and availability of priests and temples. The AIAH seniors Gupta interviewed stated that they were not afraid of death, but they were concerned about getting very sick and becoming a burden for their adult children. They were not too concerned, however, about their adult children’s ability to carry out rituals and customs that the seniors had performed for their own parents in India, as the adult children would follow the guidance and recommendations of the priest at their respective places or religious gatherings (Gupta, 2011).

Licenses and Attributions for Traditions and Rituals

Open Content, Original

“Traditions and Rituals” and all subsections except those noted below by Monica Olvera. License: CC BY 4.0.

Figure 5.2. “Comparison of Family Rituals and Family Routines” by Monica Olvera and Michaela Willi Hooper. License: CC BY 4.0.

Open Content, Shared Previously

Figure 5.4. “Quinceañera. Santa Fe” by Christopher Michel. License: CC BY 2.0.

Figure 5.5. “Quinceañera” by Thank You. License: CC BY 2.0.

Figure 5.6. “Jumping the Broom at a Los Angeles Wedding in September 2011” by Hipstamatic Shots from Lisa & Lorna. License: CC BY-SA 2.0.

Birth/Family Formation is adapted from “Ritualizing Pregnancy and Childbirth in Secular Societies: Exploring Embodied Spirituality at the Start of Life” by J. Wojtkowiak. Adaptations include excerpting sentences, shortening for brevity and reading level. License: CC BY 4.0.

All Rights Reserved

Figure 5.3. “Supportive and Disruptive Elements of Routines and Rituals” based on text from Family Routines and Rituals by Barbara Fiese. License: Fair Use.

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