10.2 Sexuality
Jennifer Puentes and Heidi Esbensen
In sociology, researchers study and describe sexuality by examining sexual attitudes, norms, practices, and their social implications. They view sexuality as a social construct, created and given meaning by societies, which can change and evolve. As discussed in Chapter 4, humans collectively create meanings, and we are socialized into prevalent societal norms from an early age. Sociologists consider sexuality a cultural universal, which means the idea of sexuality exists in most societies and cultures worldwide and throughout history.
What we view as “normal” varies depending on location, age, culture, and many other factors. It also changes over time. Being open about one’s sexuality can be dangerous in one space and celebrated in another. For example, if you watched the film Joe Bell [Website] (optional link), you are likely familiar with the story of the Bell family living in rural Oregon. Joe’s son, Jadin Bell, died by suicide after being bullied in high school and on social media for being gay. Research from national surveys on LGBTQ youth mental health found that almost half of LGBTQ youth in rural spaces report that their communities are “somewhat or very unaccepting of LGBTQ people” compared with youth in urban and suburban spaces (Trevor Project 2022).
As you will learn in the next section, sexuality and sexual orientation are viewed within the context of a variety of factors, including geographic place and time period. Researchers who study sexuality from a social constructionist perspective examine how sexuality is continually constructed and reconstructed through sociocultural practices (Seidman 2014). Sociocultural practices reflect the types of social relationships that are found within a shared culture. These practices shape our shared understanding of sexual identities, sexual bodies, and sexual behaviors (Seidman 2014). You can think of the social construction of sexuality as the process by which we learn, through interaction with others, sexual knowledge, attitudes, norms, and expectations associated with sexuality. You will learn more about these concepts in this chapter. However, we will first focus on the concepts of sexuality, sexual orientation, and heteronormativity, before moving on to sexual attitudes, sexual practices, and sexual socialization.
Sexuality and Sexual Orientation
Sexuality refers to the sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions, and behaviors individuals have toward other people. Sexual orientation refers to enduring patterns of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of another sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. Sexual identity is the social identity ascribed to individuals based on their gender and the gender of the object of their sexual desire. In Chapter 9, you learned the term cisgender, which refers to those who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth. You can apply this concept to your understanding of sexuality. For example, a cis woman who is attracted to cis men would likely be categorized as heterosexual, and a man who is attracted to other men would likely be categorized as homosexual, or gay.
It should be noted that the authors of this text chose to use the umbrella term LGBTQIA+ as a way to acknowledge the expansiveness of the community and refer to the community as a whole. Any mentions that do not use the umbrella term are designed to accurately represent the data used in the research discussed. LGBTQIA+ is an abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual. The additional “+” stands for all of the other identities not encompassed in the short acronym. Due to space limitations, we are not able to provide comprehensive definitions of all of the sexual identities and orientations included in LGBTQIA+, but for an optional review of these terms, we encourage you to view the glossary [Website] compiled by staff at UC Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center.
Studying sexuality in the United States poses challenges due to its evolving definitions over time. Different generations may interpret broad terms like “gay” in varying ways, leading to ambiguity in survey responses. For instance, some individuals may identify as asexual but still consider themselves gay, making questions about intimate relations less relevant. Social stigma also plays a significant role, as respondents may feel uncomfortable or unsafe disclosing their non-heterosexual identities. Even if a survey is random and anonymous, it can feel uncomfortable or even dangerous for some to claim a sexuality other than heterosexual. Some may not be in a place where they are accepting of their own identity given social norms and the expected sexuality, which we will cover in the next section. This fear of judgment can result in underestimating the LGBTQIA+ population in surveys (Powell 2021). Researchers face the complex task of accurately reflecting the diversity of identities and experiences within this population.
There is no scientific consensus regarding the exact reasons why an individual holds a heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual orientation. Some argue that sexuality is chosen and those who do not identify as heterosexual are making a choice. However, there are unknown biological factors that support sexual orientation as biology and not choice, which is why some literature has moved away from talking about sexuality in terms of “preference.” Furthermore, although research has been conducted to study the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, there has been no evidence that links sexual orientation to one factor (Bogaert and Skorska 2020; Vasquez 2022).
Heteronormativity/Compulsory Heterosexuality
In this section, we’ll discuss several concepts that will help us understand how social norms often intersect with other dimensions of our lives, like sexuality. Heteronormativity is the idea that heterosexuality is the preferred or “normal” mode of sexual orientation (Harris and White 2018). Compulsory heterosexuality refers to the notion that our patriarchal and heteronormative society creates an environment where heterosexuality is assumed. Societal expectations for both gender and sexuality shape how we interact with others. Adrienne Rich, an American poet and feminist, wrote about how women are socialized to devalue and minimize their relationships with other women and encouraged to prefer relationships with men (1980).
An examination of popular culture highlights the prevalence of compulsive heterosexuality. For example, what types of relationships are commonly displayed in movies and television shows? While more diverse representations are making their way into mainstream media, most visual and textual representations of relationships center on heterosexuality, leading to the continuing dominance of heteronormativity. For example, take a moment to review the heterosexual questionnaire [Website] and think about how the questions sound. The dominance of heteronormativity and compulsory heterosexuality in mainstream culture makes it difficult for those who do not fit into these expected categories.
Learning the “Rules” of Sexuality
The spoken and unspoken “rules” of sexuality are learned through socialization. As you learned in Chapter 4, socialization is an ongoing and life-long process; however, you may not have thought about how this practice connects to our understanding of sexuality. Sexual socialization refers to the process of social interaction and communication in which individuals learn and internalize the sexuality associated with their gender role and biological sex. Through sexual socialization, you develop ideas about what types of desires, bodies, acts, identities, and communities are acceptable. These “rules” are bound to sexual scripts which reflect social norms that promote heteronormativity.
For example, at the beginning of the chapter you learned that Florida has already passed a bill that restricts educators’ ability to discuss sexuality in schools. Other U.S. states are considering similar bills. These bills are designed to limit discussions of relationships that fall outside of heteronormativity. This limits representation of diverse family forms and recognition of a range of identities. As you will learn later in this chapter, sex education in schools can vary greatly and largely relies on state and local governments for funding (Planned Parenthood 2024). If access to developmentally appropriate, evidence-based education on healthy sexuality is limited in schools, where do individuals learn the “rules”? Our actions and interactions are guided through sexual scripts.
Sexual Scripts
A sexual script is a phrase that refers to the social rules that guide sexual interaction (Gagnon and Simon 1973). Sexual scripts come from our culture and are like a set of rules that society gives us to guide how we behave when it comes to sex. These rules tell us who we should have sex with, when and where we should do it, and in what order. When we start having sex or when we’re with a new partner, we often follow these rules closely because they help us know what to expect and how to interact. For example, we might expect to kiss someone before touching them in more intimate ways. The predictability of sexual scripts helps us move from less intimate to more intimate behaviors.
Michel Foucault, a postmodern social theorist made great contributions to our understanding of sexuality that can be applied to the sexual scripts. His work on power and the relationships between power, knowledge, and discourse influence contemporary discussions of sexuality. As Foucault suggests, we learn that there are rules for whom we should be attracted to, what is attractive, how to be sexual, and what we should and shouldn’t do with one another. We may resist or engage in some activities over others, but there are patterns to our behavior that go beyond individual choice/preference.
The sexual behaviors we participate in are also embedded in a larger power dynamic because sexual scripts are gendered (Endendijk et al. 2020). Given the conflation of masculinity and power, the masculine role in sex is perceived as the assertive role. Similar to the ideas shared about emphasized femininity in Chapter 9, the feminine role is perceived as primarily responsive. This conflation of sexual power, desire, and masculinity leads to the push-and-resist dynamic (Gavey 2005). The push-and-resist dynamic refers to the idea that it’s normal and expected for men to push for more sexual activity, while women are tasked with stopping or slowing sexual activity. Rather than focusing on consent, there is a gender imbalance as one gender is expected to push for activity, while another gender becomes the keeper of consent. In practice, we know that masculinity and femininity can be performed by anyone, so we don’t always think of this as directly tied to a particular sex but rather as reflecting who might be participating in masculine or feminine roles.
To this point, we’ve mostly discussed sexual scripts in terms of heterosexual relationships, but sexual scripts are part of gay culture too. Sexual scripts for gay men in the United States tend to differentiate between the roles of tops, bottoms, and versatiles (Moskowitz and Roloff 2017; Moskowitz et al. 2021). These roles are gendered, with topping being perceived as masculine and bottoming as feminine. Given the dynamics between sex, gender, and power in the United States, people tend to think of topping, or men who identify as tops, as being not only masculine but also more dominating. Men who identify as bottoms often have to deal with stereotypes that perceive them as feminine. Other gay men will avoid replicating sexual scripts or reject labels completely by adopting a versatile identity, engaging in both penetrative and receptive roles in their sexual encounters.
While there is less research on lesbian sexual scripts, we know that women who have sex with other women have the least scripted sexual relationships. Research suggests that lesbians do not have a single standard they use to define encounters as sex, unlike many of their heterosexual counterparts who often use penile-vaginal intercourse as a way to define the occurrence of a sexual encounter (Sewell et al. 2017).
Activity: Sex, Gender, and Sexuality
The following 11-minute video (figure 10.2) discusses how sociologists view sex, gender, and sexuality. Please reflect on connections you can make with Chapter 9 as you watch the video and return to answer the questions that follow:
- What can sociology teach us about sex and sexuality?
- Reflecting on what you learned in the last chapter and this video, what do sociologists mean when they say that gender is a social construction? Discuss a few examples to show how gender is created through meanings made in society.
- What are sexual scripts?
Licenses and Attributions for Sexuality
Open Content, Original
“Sexuality” by Jennifer Puentes and Heidi Esbensen is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
“Learning the ‘Rules’ of Sexuality” by Jennifer Puentes is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
“Sexual Scripts” by Jennifer Puentes is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
“Activity: Sex, Gender, and Sexuality” by Jennifer Puentes is adapted from “Sex & Sexuality: Crash Course Sociology #31” by Crash Course Sociology, licensed under the Standard YouTube License, and is licensed under CC BY 4.0. Modifications include framing the activity and writing questions.
Open Content, Shared Previously
“Sexual Orientation” definition is adapted from Wikipedia and licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
All Rights Reserved Content
“LGBTQIA+” definition is adapted from UC Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center and included under fair use.
Figure 10.2. “Sex & Sexuality: Crash Course Sociology #31” by Crash Course Sociology is licensed under the Standard YouTube License.
the scientific and systematic study of groups and group interactions, societies and social interactions, from small and personal groups to very large groups and mass culture; also, the systematic study of human society and interactions.
the sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions and behaviors individuals have toward other people.
the social expectations of how to behave in a situation.
enduring patterns of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender.
socially created definitions about the cultural appropriateness of sex-linked behavior that shape how people see and experience sexuality
an ideology and a set of institutional practices that privileges heterosexuality over other sexual orientations.
the process wherein people come to understand societal norms and expectations, to accept society’s beliefs, and to be aware of societal values.
physical or physiological differences between males and females, including both primary sex characteristics (the reproductive system) and secondary characteristics such as height and muscularity.
a term that refers to the behaviors, personal traits, and social positions that society attributes to being female or male
a social identity ascribed to individuals based on their gender and the gender of the object of sexual desire. Sexuality includes personal and interpersonal expression of sexual desire, behavior, and identity.
people who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth are often referred to as cisgender, utilizing the Latin prefix cis-, which means “on the same side.”
an abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual. The additional “+” stands for all of the other identities not encompassed in the short acronym. An umbrella term that is often used to refer to the community as a whole.
a person whose sex assigned at birth and gender identity are not necessarily the same.
a term used to describe gender and sexual identities other than cisgender and heterosexual.
a general term used to describe people whose sex traits, reproductive anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes are different from the usual two ways human bodies develop. Some intersex traits are recognized at birth, while others are not recognizable until puberty or later in life
a method of collecting data from subjects who respond to a series of questions about behaviors and opinions, often in the form of a questionnaire or an interview. Surveys are one of the most widely used scientific research methods.
the presence of differences, including psychological, physical, and social differences that occur among individuals.
a group of people who live in a defined geographic area, interact with one another, and share a common culture.
the pattern of cultural experiences and attitudes that exist in mainstream society.
a process of social interaction and communication in which individuals learn and internalize the sexuality associated with their gender role and biological sex.
the expected role determined by an individual’s sex and the associated attitudes, behaviors, norms, and values.
the social rules that guide sexual interaction; these scripts are based in one’s culture.
the pattern of femininity that is given the most cultural and ideological support. This type of femininity involves compliance with subordination and is oriented to accommodate the interests and desires of men.
the situation in which it is normal for men to press sexual activity and advances toward women in pursuit of increased sexual intimacy.
patterns of behavior that are representative of a person’s social status.