Figure 7.1 While there can be great diversity in how families are structured, the functions of families and the essential contributions that families make to society are consistent.

When we are born, we are welcomed by parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other kin. Being fed and held, and gazing into our carer’s eyes stimulates hormones that help us build strong biological and social bonds, especially in the earliest days of life. We experience love and learn about trust. The caring people fall in love with us, too, and they recognize each other in us. Their shared love for us strengthens their bonds with each other and inspires them to work together to protect and provide for us and each other. These strong social bonds can be eroded by trauma, absence, illness or abuse. Even then, we often go to great lengths to preserve them. For those who are unable to do so, the absence of these strong connections can be devastating.

If we lose the first people who care for us, we need to be welcomed, loved and protected by other kin and carers. As we grow, we may cultivate new loves. Our kin will welcome our most dearly beloved and their kin will welcome us, and/or we may welcome children of our own. The love, care and commitment that flows between children, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other kin is embodied in culturally specific ways of being and doing that connect us to the memory of our ancestors and the hope of future descendants. We call this dynamic social system of love and kinship a family.

It is important to keep in mind that the historic legacy of settler colonialism and slavery continues to undermine the traditional family structures of indigenous and immigrant, and under-resourced communities. It is also important that human services workers understand the harm that is possible when we project our biases about what counts as family onto the people we work with.

It is also important to keep in mind the difference between a household and a family. Some human services workers, like supportive housing case managers and navigators, work with household units, often a parent and children. In these situations, it is helpful to remember that this household may be part of a larger family unit that may include grandparents, siblings who reside elsewhere, and elder relatives.

7.3.1 Structures

Families can be understood as social units that consist of people who are biologically and/or legally related to each other. It is a universal fact that every human comes from a family, but beyond this fact it is hard to define the structure of families in universal terms. For example, many definitions of family also include shared residence, but parents and children don’t stop being family when kids move out or parents divorce, and many family members share intimate familial bonds without ever living together. Many definitions, like the introduction above, center the care of children as a defining characteristic of families, but some families are childless.

It is hard to definitively describe family structure because family is a social construction. A social construction is a mutual understanding and accepted reality created by members of a society: something that is not determined by biology or the natural world (Pearce 2020). Social constructions are determined by their social context, while biologically determined phenomena are constant.

The fact that families exist everywhere indicates that some things about families are constant. For example, pair-bonding, reproduction, aging and death are biological processes. The universal helplessness of human babies, the physical vulnerability of elderly people and the human need for connection are also fixed in our biology. The diverse ways groups of people have organized themselves in families in response to these bio-social needs and processes are dynamic adaptations to their specific historical, political and geographical contexts.

The nuclear family is dominant in the imagination of contemporary society and sometimes idealized as “traditional”. It is actually a relatively new family structure when compared with authentically traditional family structures in indigenous, non-western, and pre-industrial European societies. For a quick rundown on traditional family structures, check out the video in Figure 7.2.

Figure 7.2 The nuclear family is actually not the oldest or most common family structure.

Many social science textbooks classify family structures by comparing them to a nuclear family, which has been incorrectly standardized as a normative family structure.This idealized self-sufficient family unit usually consists of two parents and one or more children. Contemporary variations on nuclear families have been expanded to include same-sex parents, and children who may not be biologically related to one or both of their parents. Contemporary “blended” families can be understood as remixed nuclear families. Multi-generational extended families, in which a nuclear family expands to include elder relatives and adult children, are becoming more common and resemble more traditional family structures.

It is also common for people to live together and start families without officially getting married. In 2018, 9% of people ages 18-24 lived with an unmarried partner compared to 7% percent who lived with a spouse. About 22% of young parents in the U.S. live with a spouse while 30% live in an unmarried partnership. Additionally, 6% of couples over 65 who live together are not married (U.S Census Bureau, 2018, 2019).

7.3.2 Functions

While there can be great diversity in how families are structured, the functions of families and the essential contributions that families make to society are pretty consistent. Whatever their structure, families function to stabilize a society. Families are a primary source for emotional connection and social identity for its members. Families also help socialize children to the norms of their society. Because families operate in alignment with a society’s existing power dynamics, families can either reproduce or interrupt social inequality present in their society. Families also help regulate sexual activity and reproduction within their society. Most importantly, families provide the context for children’s social and emotional development.

We function at our best when our basic psychological need for connection is well supported (Deci & Ryan, 1985). Robust emotional connections in childhood are also known to be protective factors against the long-term health damage associated with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). ACEs are discussed in depth in Chapter 9. Families provide our earliest and most enduring experiences of social connection, and are the medium in which Erickson’s the psycho-social stages of development emerge.

Social Identity Theory describes how the social groups we belong to are foundational to who we understand ourselves to, our sense of self. We identify with and favor people within our social groups, and we tend to “other “ those who are not in our social groups. As the first social group where we experience belonging, our family profoundly influences our sense of who we are.

Socialization is the process through which we learn the culture of the social groups that we belong to. If social identity helps us understand who we are, socialization is the way we learn how to be. Families are primary agents of socialization and social control. On a biological level, socialization is integral to cognitive development. Socialization includes social learning about language, symbols, values, beliefs, norms, folkways, norms, taboos, and culture. Social power structures, which are embedded in culture, are also reproduced and sustained through socialization.

In monocultural societies where family groups share common ethnicity, race, religion and/or politics, families reproduce the norms and practices that define and sustain the dominant culture through socialization. This process assures continuity for the society as a whole. In multicultural societies, socialization can include both culturally specific learning to reproduce traditional life-ways and social learning related to the larger multi-cultural society, including how we navigate cultural differences and respond to people who are “not like us”.

Socialization in families also reinforces the power structures of a society as we learn about our own social location. Social location includes our gender, class, race, and other indicators of social difference to which social power attaches. Internalized oppression, which can include ideas about identity-based inferiority and superiority, is a term that describes socially learned systems of social dominance.

Through direct and indirect instruction, play, and observation we learn gender norms. We are socialized to class by the food and aesthetics we learn to like, the kinds of work we are prepared for, and our attitudes towards material resources. Our families are also where we first learn about race. In contemporary American society, socialization around gender, class and race often includes overt messages of tolerance and equality that coexist with deeply internalized, sometimes unconscious attitudes that uphold and perpetuate classism, sexism and racism. Cognitive dissonance is a term that describes the phenomenon of learning and holding conflicting beliefs and ideas.

Sexual socialization in families teaches and enforces culturally specific social norms about when sex is okay, what kinds of sex are okay, and how unsanctioned sex and reproduction are tolerated or disciplined. In addition to being a primary agent of sexual socialization, the family as a unit functions to control and regulate sexual activity within a society.

Children are not an essential component of family, but for families with children, a primary function of families is to support optimal child development.

7.3.3 Immigrant and Refugee Families

Now we will look at how the ecological systems theory proposed by Uri Bronfenbrenner can be applied to current families. The ecological framework assumes that families interact within multiple environments that mutually influence each other. These environments include the microsystem (the systems in immediate surroundings, such as family, neighborhood, work, or school), the mesosystem (the ways in which these immediate systems connect, such as the relationships between neighborhood and school), the exosystem (the larger social system, such as the stress of another family member’s job), the macrosystem (cultural values of the local and larger community), and the chronosystem (such as immigration policy that influences access, and changes over time).

In the context of a refugee family, the family might be influenced by their microsystem (e.g., whether or not members were injured as they fled the persecution and parental conflict while fleeing), their mesosystem (e.g., teachers and school personnel who are struggling with their own trauma from fleeing conflict or personal troubles and thus their ability to provide robust services being impaired), their exosystem (e.g., local leaders who do not consult with women living in shelters regarding their resources needs and don’t provide feminine hygiene products or children’s toys), and countless other environments (Hoffman, M. A., & Kruczek, T. 2011).The family may have access to and be able to directly influence their mesosystem and at the same time feel powerless to make changes in the exosystem. Each of these environments will contribute to their coping.

Figure 7.3. Protesting is one way that people can influence their macrosystems and chronosystems.

With its focus on interaction within multiple environments, the ecological systems framework is an incredibly useful lens to employ cross-cultural contexts such as when considering immigrant families. For example, a researcher could ask, “How do Hmong immigrant families manage financial resources in their new environment in the United States?” and “How did Hmong families manage their financial resources while still living in Laos?” The theory helps us to understand that immigrant families are operating within more complex systems, because they have lived in more than one dominant culture. The needs, values, and environment within each culture are important to the family(Solheim, C. A., & Yang, P. N. D., 2010)

The family system has certain needs, including physical needs for resources and interpersonal needs for relationships. Parenting children is one of those primary needs. If their current situation is not meeting these needs, the family system will engage in management to meet these needs within their value systems.

7.3.4 Children and Adolescents

In chapter 4 we discussed Erikson’s stages of Psychosocial Development, which divides the lifespan into eight stages. In each stage, we have a major psychosocial task to accomplish or crisis to overcome. It is valuable for human services professionals and parents to understand these stages in order to better support children’s psychosocial development. But when was the last time you heard parents celebrating when their children overcame an autonomy versus shame and doubt crisis?

Many early childhood education(ECE) and parenting support programs, and services for youth and young people rely on a developmental milestone framework. Parents and caregivers are also concerned with the skills children develop, like when their children smile, recognize faces, roll over, and walk for the first time. We memorialize these achievements in baby books, mark them on calendars and compare notes with other parents. Parents who witness these first time achievements get excited, and not being present to witness them may bring regret. Additionally, parents get concerned when children seem to be delayed in reaching these developmental milestones.

Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (like crawling, walking, or jumping). Children develop at their own pace, so it’s impossible to tell exactly when a child will learn a given skill. However, the developmental milestones give a general idea of the changes to expect as a child gets older. When parents become aware that their children are not meeting expected milestones, they can intervene with early developmental support.

For example, in the first year, babies learn to focus their vision, reach out, explore, and learn about the things that are around them. Cognitive, or brain development means the learning process of memory, language, thinking, and reasoning. Learning language is more than making sounds (“babble”), or saying “ma-ma” and “da-da”. Listening, understanding, and knowing the names of people and things are all a part of language development.As the Eriksons described, babies at this stage also develop bonds of love and trust with their parents and others as part of social and emotional development.

In families who are supported by grandparents, siblings, close friends with children and spiritual communities, new parents may learn about developmental milestones by comparing notes from the other parents around them. Developmental milestones may also be described in culturally specific ways, with stories and traditions around parenting. They can also be marked in rights of passage as children grow into adulthood.

The Centers For Disease Control (CDC) has developed a Developmental Milestone Tracker to help parents, educators, human services workers and pediatricians, be alert to delays in a child’s development from birth through adolescence. Figure 7.4 gives a brief overview of some developmental milestones from birth to age 5.

Figure 7.4 Developmental Milestones Birth to age 5. Many ECE, parenting and adolescent support programs are based on the developmental milestone framework.

7.3.5 References

Bureau, US Census. “Half of U.S. Parents Ages 22 and Younger Lived With Spouse or Unmarried Partners in 2018.” Census.gov. Accessed November 21, 2022. https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2021/06/living-arrangements-of-young-parents-solo-with-spouse-partner-or-parent.html.

Bureau, US Census. “Cohabiting Partners Older, More Racially Diverse, More Educated, Higher Earners.” Census.gov. Accessed November 21, 2022. https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2019/09/unmarried-partners-more-diverse-than-20-years-ago.html.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. New York, NY: Plenum.

Hoffman, M. A., & Kruczek, T. (2011). A bioecological model of mass trauma: Individual, community, and societal effects. The Counseling Psychologist, 39(8), 1087-1127. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000010397932.

Pearce, Elizabeth B. “The Family: A Socially Constructed Idea,” 2020. https://openoregon.pressbooks.pub/families/chapter/the-family-a-socially-constructed-idea/.

Solheim, C. A., & Yang, P. N. D. (2010). Understanding generational differences in financial literacy in Hmong immigrant families. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal 38(4), 435-454.