CH 8 Exercise: Clarity & Conciseness

Revise the following five sentences to be clearer and more concise:
  1. I am in receipt of your memo requesting an increase in pay and am of the opinion that it is not merited at this time due to the fact that you have worked here for only one month.
  2. We hope to convey the following to our employees: a familiarization with the company’s policies, teaching about procedures, and to know what they should do to file complaints if they have any.
  3. It is expected that the new schedule will be likely announced by the company within the next day.
  4. In this meeting, our intention is to acquire a familiarization with this equipment so that we might standardize the replacement of obsolete machinery throughout our entire work environment.
  5. In lieu of further discussion, we want to state in the affirmative that what transpired was due to the fact that the vehicle had insufficient braking capabilities to avoid the collision.


Icon for the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License

Technical Writing at LBCC Copyright © 2020 by Will Fleming is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.