An important part of revising your writing is to identify areas that need further development. Perhaps you need to better define an important term or process. Maybe you need to identify a person or place. More often you need additional examples or descriptions so that your readers can better envision your topic. Sometimes just additional context helps to demonstrate why something is important. Adding these kinds of specific supporting details helps to prevent vague or superficial writing, and it makes your writing more interesting to read, too!
Start by reviewing your research topic and thesis. Think about the feedback you have received from your instructor, your classmates, and/or tutors. Then choose one specific point in one of your essays that needs expansion or more explanation. For example: if an essay suggests that smart clothing can help doctors and patients, it would be useful to have a detailed example of this from real life to show readers what this looks like and how it works. Or, alternatively, more information about the costs of research and development. The author can do additional research to find more specific supporting details to help readers better understand the idea that smart clothing can help doctors and patients.
- Brainstorm: Choose a detail that needs more explanation or specific information.
- Research: Use the library database and/or Google to add some additional specific details to your topic.
- Write: Write a short paragraph of new information to add to your essay. Use some details from your new source.
- Cite: Include both an in-text citation and a Works Cited page for the data that you use. See the example below.
Additional research question: What are the specific types of data collected by smart underwear?
Smart clothing — specifically smart underwear — can collect biometric data that can be useful to both athletes and anyone who cares about their health. The most common measurement, of course, is pulse, body temperature, respiration, and blood oxygen (Paret and Crégo 204). However, movement sensors that use accelerometers and gyroscopes can also provide feedback on more unusual things, such as posture and muscle tension (“Wearable Stretch Sensors Making Underwear Into ‘Underwearables’ In 2017 – StretchSense”). Therefore, users can easily monitor their health and track their workout performance over time.
Paret, Dominique, and Pierre Crégo. Wearables, Smart Textiles & Smart Apparel. London, Uk, Iste ; Kidlington, Oxford, 2019.
“Wearable Stretch Sensors Making Underwear Into ‘Underwearables’ In 2017 – StretchSense.” StretchSense, 26 Jan. 2017, stretchsense.com/article-resources/blog/wearable-stretch-sensors-making-underwear-into-underwearables-in-2017/. Accessed 31 Jan. 2020.