8.4 COMPOSITION: Revising Your Thesis Statement
Throughout this term, you have been writing many things about your research topic. Now you should think about how you will begin to put these ideas together into one organic research paper. Right now, you have a separate, but related thesis statement for each essay that you wrote. Now you need to combine these ideas into one new thesis statement that reflects the full scope of your research and writing.
Example
Essay 01 Thesis Statement: Today, smart clothing is beginning to have a huge influence on the fashion industry, and many of the new developments are focused on underwear.
Essay 02 Thesis Statement: Even with high-speed wi-fi connections and cloud computing, there is still the ongoing problem of searching for an electrical power outlet to charge one’s smartphone or other mobile device. The same problem affects the newest addition to the family of mobile technology: smart clothing and, even more specifically, smart underwear. However, if fashion designers can effectively integrate wireless charging technology into their clothing designs, then their customers will always be dressed for success.
Essay 03 Thesis Statement: With the aging population in the United States, the healthcare industry is growing — and so is its demand for technological solutions that promote longer and healthier lives. So while athletes are the most obvious niche customers of smart underwear, health care — ranging from short-term hospital stays to long-term care to drug research — represents another potential market. Adapting this technology to meet the needs of the healthcare industry could reduce costs for consumers while increasing profits for the smart clothing industry.
New Thesis Statement for Whole Research Paper: Today, smart clothing is beginning to have a huge influence on the fashion industry, and many of the new developments are focused on underwear. Elite athletes already use this technology, but new developments in the health care industry may help make this form of fashion more functional if certain problems can be solved. Once it is also affordable, smart clothing — and especially smart underwear — is sure to be a new staple in a person’s everyday wardrobe.
ACTIVITY
You will soon combine all of our essays into a single organic research paper. This paper will need a new introduction with a single clear thesis statement that covers all of your work. Gather the introductions from all three of your essays Combine your multiple thesis statements into one three-story thesis that covers all of what you have written. Your instructor will provide feedback.
